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Torn…

I don’t want to admit that I want to be done…that I am terrified of the next time it happens…that I just want consistency and something I can depend on…I love him…I love my family…when it’s like this…but it never stays…it’s been two weeks which is the longest it has been for a while, but when my world goes sideways again, will I have the strength to say it’s over? I feel strong in my own recovery, but am I strong enuf to let him go? He refuses to follow the path I am choosing to take and I can respect that, but if his path leads to using and misery, will I be able to step away for my own sanity and let him live his life? I told him the other day he needs to stop waiting for me to decide what he’s going to do with his life and I know that to be true. But what will I do when he decides to throw his life away again??

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