good morning

I still am dwelling on the conversation i had last night with my boyfriend.  I don’t understands what his thoughts are about our future anymore.  I asked his five year plan and he says i want to be happy.  This makes me think he’s not serious about me and that I’m giving the milk for free as they say.  I’m starting to stop caring about cleaning the host or making dinner or trying to be sexual in bed because i just don’t want to. I’m feeling unappreciated and unimportant and why would i continue to bend over backwards for someone who can’t do the same for myself.  He tells me yesterday he needs to start truck shopping. Which i know he needs a new truck but in the back of my head that pushes marriage and kiss even farther out of the picture. I know he’s happy having a little house wife run around doing everything without a ring but I’m not. And I’m not happy with this arrangement.

5 thoughts on “good morning”

  1. Have you ever just told him that? That you want marriage…you don’t want to be the perpetual girlfriend? The problem with actually saying things like that is that then we are required to act on them. Trust me…I know how hard that can be. But when he mentioned a truck or you asked about the five year plan did you ask him how those other things fit into the plan? I hope that you can come clean with him about how you are feeling and what your needs are and I hope that it all goes well for you. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying here…

  2. Thank you for replying to my post. I have told him many times I want to get married and have kids. He knows very well what my intentions are and what I would like in this relationship. The problem is he’s not ready and he’s communicated that. He wants to do it on his time when he’s ready and he says when the moments right. On top of all that our friends have all been getting married and having children and it’s just a constant reminder that I have to wait for someone to want to marry me. Which makes my self-esteem lower and lower every time we have to spend time with our friends. It just makes me always think why am I not good enough what am I not doing. and it bothers me so much lately when people ask when are you getting married when are you going to have kids. The problem is there’s no real answer because I’m not the one that’s marrying myself. He always smiles and says one day but the more and more I think and dwell about it, the more I think it’s not going to happen.

  3. It sux to feel that way…my bf and I have been together before and he was married once in between and now I feel like I will just be his forever girlfriend. I hate it, but I don’t want to push him cuz then he is marrying me for the wrong reasons. If you and your boyfriend aren’t on the same page or timeline then maybe it’s time to find someone who is where you are at in life. I say this cuz I know if I had the guts, that’s what I would do right now. No one should make you feel like you don’t deserve forever. The more I learn about myself and come to believe that I deserve happiness the more I am seeing that to be true.

  4. I mean it’s always easier said than done. My biggest thing is I’ve spent three years already with this man and I do love him and care about him but I don’t want to waste anymore time on someone that’s not going to give me what I need. But I don’t want to leave and I don’t want to give them up so I’m kind of in the middle happy and sad. idk. The more i think about marriage and kids the more I think I’m pushing him away because I want these things and they’re not going to be a surprise or special if and when they happen. Maybe he’s just not ready to grow up.

  5. 3 years…that’s how long I was with my ex…I pushed and pushed for marriage and the minute he gave in I realized that my forever was not with that man. Unfortunately sometimes it comes to this point for us to realize what we want. I hope that you can find your path and move forward in it. Loving someone and wanting to continue building a life with that person are two different things. Idk how old you are, but time passes so quickly…I have been told recently that if I let go of what is comfortable and step out of what I know, I may be surprised by the amazing things in store for me…I hope your choice becomes clear to you.

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