I miss her

I miss her I really miss her because once she’s not here I realized she’s the only one who unconditionally cared about me . It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do she was always on my side . No friend can replace her no boyfriend’s love can equal her love to me . She cheered me up even when she was feeling down . And I honestly cant remember being sad for more than a day when she was here . She filled my life so much that I didn’t have time to be sad or to cry or to over think or over feel. I never stay home for more than 2 days , she always made plans , she always had things to do and always needed me to be there with her . She always took me out , bought me things . Spoiled me and made me as happy  as a little kid at cady shop.
And the day she went away I knew that I will start feeling alone .
I just didn’t know I’ll feel it this much and for this long . It’s been 3 years now and I still feel the void she left . When she visits it’s cool … But not like the way it was before .
Things change . and people do too .
I’m happy for her I swear ! Because she’s happier now . But I’m sad , I’m sad for my self . I remember when we talked right after she moved away and how she told me that I’ll get used to this , and how my friends will keep me busy , and how I’ll end up with a guy who will spoil me like she did and love me an even better kind of love than what we had . I believed her then . I really did .
3 years ago I assumed that my life will be a bit rough after her but then it will start getting better .

But it didn’t .
The great friends that are supposed to keep me busy , well… I lost half of them . Due to a mix of back stabbing and moving away. And I’m left with 3 who have pretty active lives and they can’t always fit me in  .
Great boyfriends ? Definitely not for me , because in the past 3 years I’ve kissed frogs who turned into … a worst kind of frog.

Between the cold , the obsessed , the I got you i’ll stop strying , I still found my self alone .
And that only made me I miss her even more .

Maybe I dont miss her , maybe I miss how things were , how I felt , and how simple my life was . Or maybe I just miss not feeling alone.

And I always miss her . The old her … and the old me .

One thought on “I miss her”

  1. We all loose people throughout our lives and it always hurt
    what you feel that empty space that she left people feel it too you are not alone in this .
    It’s hard I know especially when you’re single and your friends aren’t available you feel that void even more I’m sorry about that but it will pass you will always miss her and miss the past but it gets better hold on

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