I miss her I really miss her because once she’s not here I realized she’s the only one who unconditionally cared about me . It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do she was always on my side . No friend can replace her no boyfriend’s love can equal her love to me . She cheered me up even when she was feeling down . And I honestly cant remember being sad for more than a day when she was here . She filled my life so much that I didn’t have time to be sad or to cry or to over think or over feel. I never stay home for more than 2 days , she always made plans , she always had things to do and always needed me to be there with her . She always took me out , bought me things . Spoiled me and made me as happy as a little kid at cady shop.
And the day she went away I knew that I will start feeling alone .
I just didn’t know I’ll feel it this much and for this long . It’s been 3 years now and I still feel the void she left . When she visits it’s cool … But not like the way it was before .
Things change . and people do too .
I’m happy for her I swear ! Because she’s happier now . But I’m sad , I’m sad for my self . I remember when we talked right after she moved away and how she told me that I’ll get used to this , and how my friends will keep me busy , and how I’ll end up with a guy who will spoil me like she did and love me an even better kind of love than what we had . I believed her then . I really did .
3 years ago I assumed that my life will be a bit rough after her but then it will start getting better .
But it didn’t .
The great friends that are supposed to keep me busy , well… I lost half of them . Due to a mix of back stabbing and moving away. And I’m left with 3 who have pretty active lives and they can’t always fit me in .
Great boyfriends ? Definitely not for me , because in the past 3 years I’ve kissed frogs who turned into … a worst kind of frog.
Between the cold , the obsessed , the I got you i’ll stop strying , I still found my self alone .
And that only made me I miss her even more .
Maybe I dont miss her , maybe I miss how things were , how I felt , and how simple my life was . Or maybe I just miss not feeling alone.
And I always miss her . The old her … and the old me .