As most divorces go, rarely ever are both parties civil to one another during the entire process. Even when kids are involved. It angers me how much power women have in this commonwealth…how much damage they can do to one man “for the sake of the children”. Most times, it’s never about the children. It’s about the mothers getting their way at any cost just to spite the ex.
I know there are deadbeat fathers out there who don’t pay support, who don’t care. And that is who the laws are trying to protect; the single mothers who really are struggling. But it’s unfortunate that even the fathers who pay support, who love their children, who want to help support them are getting screwed by lazy mothers who don’t want to work. They take full advantage of the laws to benefit themselves, not the children.
One would wonder what a single mother who lives for free with her parents, who collects $1,900 a month for support, who has applied for her kids to receive free lunch at school, who removed her kids from daycare over 6 months ago, who received free divorce counsel from start to finish, and who doesn’t work, would spend $1,900 month on? Every single week, without fail, there is the reminder to “don’t forget my check”. She will be receiving a total of $54,000 before the end of December for the property settlement and all child support arrears. Why would this woman get off of her ass and work? Where is the motivation to work? What is even more angering? Her boyfriend doesn’t work either. I wonder how he supports his three kids and how he gets money to do…anything?!?
But money isn’t enough. No, she has to try to make him miserable other ways too. He forgot to give her a heads up that his mom was picking the kids up from school this past Friday instead of them getting off the bus at her house and me picking them up at 5:15. Yes, she should have had more than a one hour notice. He messed up and he apologized for it. But she got really angry with him and started threatening him. She started saying, basically, that from now on she wanted the kids picked up later and that she would be picking them up earlier, like the court order states (which doesn’t state a specific time). I know this isn’t about not seeing the kids for an hour that afternoon. It’s about not being in control. If she cared that much about the time she spent with them, then I wouldn’t have had to wait over 10 minutes last Monday for someone to wake her up from her nap to let her know I was there to pick the kids up. I even texted her 35 minutes before arriving. Because she was pissed that she got such short notice, she, knowing the kids were at his mom’s house, called him wanting to speak to the kids. That’s when I think she found out we were having a Halloween get-together that night if not earlier from one of the kids. It’s not like we were hiding it. Then, the next afternoon, she texted him wanting to speak to the kids. What she was really doing was confirming that the kids stayed the night with their grandma. She never had an issue with that before. But she wanted to throw it in his face. She said “I see your party is more important than spending time with your kids”.
Why would she behave that way? Why would she care so much to take all of that time just to try to make him feel bad? It didn’t. He loves his kids, he spends time with them, and he supports them financially. What she was trying to do to him, didn’t work. What is wrong with us having a get together one night? Even if it falls on his night with the kids? We never do anything together, and we couldn’t have done this on a night that he has to work the next day. He and I never have a day off together, alone. And there is nothing wrong with wanting some time to ourselves, to do something we want to do every once in a while.
Why would a woman feel the need to be such a way?