We are what we accept

Well here is begins.

I walked away from a bad situation slammed the door cursed to the highest peaks

Fists in the air I dont care kind of attitude and I promise I wont go back kind of situation.

Kind of been saying the same thing since March of 2011 here we are November 2015 and I am still here saying the same thing.

Sheesh when will enough be enough.

Being with someone who puts you do and who I put down.

Being with someone who lies and cheats and plays mind games and causes literal stress on me and to the point I get panic attacks around him.

I am a frantic mess around him to the point we would make bets on how long it would take us before we fought again we fought twice if not more everyday.

I kicked him out and changed my phone number also blocked him and everyone I know who would bring him up as all I want is a memory of this person not a new start to the same crazy games.

I obviously still have some dealing to do with the whole situation.

I am still in the shit I cant stand that song faze all because maybe he likes it.

And I am also in the I cant even look at his stuff faze.

The other day he called me at work as he was sending his mom to get his things and then said he would call at 11pm.

I went home and kept looking at the time to the point I felt my heart racing and slowly began a panic attack I called the phone company to change the number and unhooked the phone for the night scared he would call and Id be pulled back into the same bullshit.

I honestly never want to ever ever go back again I just have to be able to have someone say his name without me stressing.

How can I move on when he is the father to my child.

How can I ???

Well all I know is if ever in life he ever decided to be apart of his childs life im in the stage right now where he must go through his mother as I dont plan on speaking to him ever again this may not be true later but right now thats how I feel.

P.S I refuse to accept the lies and thats all he feeds me.

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