As many of you know having a home birth this time around was something I contemplated my whole pregnancy. And around six weeks ago, I had the determination to set everything up to have this home birth. I had a list of things to do to get it ready; find a midwife, make sure my insurance covered expenses, did I need a doula? and lastly will I get a hands on a labor and birth piece from Momma Bean Stalk. That list while stressful in such a short amount of time became smaller and completed. All I had to do now was just patiently wait to give birth naturally to my baby boy. That was by far the easiest part of my journey for the most impatient human being alive. But before I talk to you about my actual labor and birth, I want to take the time to talk about the stone in the bracelet that called to me. The stone was Malachite. In the files on the chatter page in stone descriptions there were key words that made the homebirth even more validated such as a “stone of transformation”, “assists in changing situations”, “encourages risk-taking and change”, “stimulates instinctive and intuitive reasoning”. All of those words made me feel whole once the piece was in my hands. I had a false labor two weeks before my actual labor and countless Braxton hicks. I was so ready in my mind to have this baby but my baby wasn’t. It was just a trial run for the most painful and beautiful thing I have had the pleasure to experience. I don’t want to tell you about it in a time frame scenario. All I know is that on November 2nd 2015 my body would begin to feel real contractions. It took hours, twelve to be exact to let my baby have his birth. At first my feelings were excited, I was ready. I had control. I knew I could do this. Towards the middle after finding out my body was not dilating the way I expected I found myself feeling defeated and weak. I said it out loud “I can’t do this”. My midwives, doula, and husband all had the right words while all I could think about was caving in. That my limber body needed relief. I cried deeply in front of my husband because I knew I wasn’t dilating. And then there was a turning point, where each contraction felt stronger. I felt weak but I kept letting my body be. I vomited. I felt everything. And then I was there, ready to push. This is the moment I had been waiting for. Everything led to this. This is the moment, where I didn’t care about time. I didn’t care that I had spent 12 hours laboring. It was time to let him come because he was ready. At 4:35 am on November 3rd 2015 I felt my baby’s body leave mine. I had just helped him be born. I was an asset to the day of his birth. It was everything. I’m still in awe that I did this. That as I sit here typing this for you all, I’m holding this tiny human being. The piece helped in a way that words cannot be written exactly. I think that I lost all control, but I did do this. I can’t tell you that it was this piece specifically since I wore a mix. But I believe that I found it helpful to be covered in the energy of Bekah’s work just like with all my daily pieces. That this temporary piece just added a special energy I needed. That it fell into my hands for this moment and I can’t wait for it to be passed so that the 3 previous energies linger on to the next special labor and birth.