First One

So, this is my first entry in a journal in awhile. I decided to make this one public to try and get over my anxiety of what other people think of me. I have this incessant need for people to like me….scratch that….for people to love me. I know that sounds so corny and needy but that’s the truth right now.

You’re supposed to write down your feelings in your journal, right? What am I feeling right now? For starters, a little tired, but I know that if I actually try to sleep right now I wouldn’t be able to. What else am I feeling? Hmmm…..actually, I’m feeling a lot of jealousy right now. That’s correct folks, you did read that right. I’m feeling jealous. Jealous of what, you might ask. I’m jealous that everyone around me seems to have found that one special person. My youngest brother has been dating the same girl (off and on) for three years now. My sister started dating this really great guy that is very attractive. Even my stoic, dry-humored, introvert, military brother seems to have found someone. And me? Nope. Nada. Not even a hint of a prospect. I went on this date with a guy last Sunday and it went great. Wound up back at his place to watch a movie. Stayed the night with him, and no, nothing happened. Hung out at his place again Monday night. He even kissed me goodnight when I went to leave. Came over Wednesday night, watched another movie, and then stayed the night with him. Still nothing happened except that he kissed me. Then……not a peep from him since. Don’t know what happened, don’t care anymore anyways. I might get more into that at a later time. My first entry is already running long.

Sorry to all you out there that actually suffered through and read this thing to the end. My first one and I’m whining about a boy. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something good! I guess it’s off to bed for me. My dogs are getting mad that I’m not asleep yet so they can jump on the bed and sleep right next to me. They know that I hate that….but I secretly love it!

One thought on “First One”

  1. Hey girl! I feel the same, I have 5 best friends, and they all have boyfriends, and It sucks, I feel like I was left behing, you know? This is a super bad feeling

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