nightly thoughts day 1

You know when u have too much on your mind but you don’t know where or how to start, that’s me right now. There’s so much I can type that honestly means nothing and everything. I feel like i need some edibles and a hot bath with a lush bath bomb but at the moment that is impossible. Living in a shitty small dorm room with a girl that is legit my opposite and having my best friend live in the connecting room has never made me feel lonelier. Yeah, i just said my best friend lives next to me and i’m lonely. Has anyone ever tried living with their best friend? It’s like i’m trapped, i need room to breathe but i’m being controlled bc my best friend is controlling. I know saying that makes me question my friendship or getting an apartment with her next year but in my mind things will change. In reality she’ll always be controlling and i’ll always be too much of a bitch to do anything. It’s like a battle, i stand up for myself and she beats me down. Great friendship right? no? i know it needs work. It feels so nice to get this off my chest, venting my feelings like this is my hot bath at times. It’s my way to breathe when i feel suffocated.  I just realized this post became a rant about my best friend who is nameless atm. If i only could use one word to describe myself lately it would be overwhelmed but no one will never guess that. I keep my composure to the public eye but inside it’s sad and lonely.

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