this time in my life

ill be 25 in 6 weeks

im suppose to be exited right? over the moon right? filled with glee right?


the closer it gets the more depressed i get  and im way to young for this, 2015 has been i must say a really bad year, jan 1 2015 i swore it was going to be the best year yet.

let me explain, i have no job no car no degree and i live back at home with my mother and horrible siblings.

just a series of unfortunate events i was in a really bad relationship very abusive he was a drunk we lived together btw etc etc so when i got the call that i got the apt i was ecstatic only 22 but it was my chance to get way without him knowing i had little money but it was only 850 a month thats not bad right at the time i was in retail making a little over 200 a week so leaving me with about 1000 a month i say if i put in enough over time. now that im thinking about it that was dumb but taking 200 dollar out per week i felt it would work long story short it didnt work, they started cutting my hours after i stood up for myself so that 200 a week surely went down and then i helped a friend in need that turned into my eviction indeed.

back to my mother i go with tail between my legs but wait i got a better job then my car breaks down then i get fired then i go to school i graduate yay!! nooo, when it was time to get my diploma they told me oh we cant u where on academic dismissal you where never suppose to be enrolled in the school !! which was the schools fault not mine they looked over this dismissal four times ugh but any way i had a pediatric job lined up that i lost because obviously no degree in the field an i held on to this job so when it didnt come thru i had nothing no job no car no money no degree no nothing like seriously just bad thing after bad thing and ive been job hunting for months and still nothing its starting to take a toll on me and im getting more an more stuck into my thoughts an depression

when i graduated high school at 18 i didnt imagine my life like this i didnt image all the pain and heart ache all the failures i would endure if i could go back in time i would do so many things differently.

moral of the story  get ur shit togther before it s to late make smart choices and turn negatives into positives ill updatein 6 weeks on this post see how far ive came

ugh vodka please

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