11/13/2015

This is the second consecutive day that I have made an effort to post my daily journal, and that is the greatest goal I could possibly achieve. I listen the a motivational speaker, Darren Hardy; the CEO of success magazine, and he said that the most successful don’t focus on what they will do in the next year, or month or even the next week, they focus on the next 24 hours, and so here I am 24 hours later writing in this journal. I said in my previous entry that I would describe myself in bits and pieces throughout my writings and so here goes. I am currently a 24-year college student at St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud, MN. And additionally I am a 24-year-old freshman student, making me a 2 time drop out. Yes, not one of my prouder qualities however that is the exact reason I wish to regain my sense of motivation because I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY. The time to suceed is now. With a child on the way I must come to terms with the fact that this is not just about me now. I must be a provider, of more than myself. So therefore I cannot let my schooling pass me by again. Anyway, there is just a little but about myself, and now on to my day. I woke up a tad earlier today then I did yesterday. Progress; however little, but progress nonetheless. I did feel more motivated today than usual, but my current cold has left me feeling miserable, and with a dress rehearsal for choir this afternoon, it was not easy. I made it up to the cathedral at about 1:30 for our dress rehearsal. It was followed by an agonizing three hours of singing with a sore throat, in which we went over our set that we will be performing on Sunday. Not to get into too much detail, and most certainly not to offend anybody but…I do not consider myself to be religious in any sense of the word, in fact, I believe that train left the station long ago. Therefore, I struggle in performing choir songs about God…inside a catholic church…surrounded by church goers…on a Sunday. But, there aren’t many agnostic songs out there these days, especially songs written for a four-part choir. I’m not sure why it bothered me so much today, in fact at a different time of my life I was even part of a chorus for the church that my family pushed me into, and I even quite enjoyed it back then. But now I feel such a sense of hypocrisy for doing it, almost as though everybody stares at me knowing that I don’t belong or feel comfortable in that environment. Of course, being that I am trying to maintain a decent GPA I will most definitely suck it up and belt out those hymns until I am blue in the face. After my performance of the hypocritical hymnals I made my way home and began to get some chores done around the house. The “red-headed girl” took her break from work around 7pm and came home for dinner. It felt great seeing her, because I had felt cranky earlier in the day and that was very apparent to her, so it felt nice to relax, eat dinner, and watch a little tv with her before she went back to work. I finished the day by picking up a few things from target and awaiting her to get home from work. The day starts bright and early tomorrow so I will leave you now. Again, I make no promises to you or to myself to make an entry here every day, but I will promise to see you again 24 hours from now.

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