I’m getting ready to spend a few precious moments with two beautiful girls that I love beyond myself; like most mothers. I sit here watching the clock remembering when I met their dad, thinking wow this man is EVERYTHING I ever dreamed of. He was, he was handsome, funny, nice to me, and treated me like his princess. However, I had no idea it was all a front. As we got closer, my eyes got more and more blinded, like he planned. Why would someone do that to someone else? I was 19 years old, he was 33 years old! My 19 year old self says, love is blind age doesn’t matter. If he was who he said he was it wouldn’t have. It wasn’t until we were married a few months that I learned of his massive debt, with nothing to show for it. I questioned him before we got married, and his answer was he has some. Okay well some to a 19 year old must be very different than a 33 year old. I came to the marriage with about three thousand in debt; for college that was going to be paid off well before graduation! He came to the marriage in over 50k in debt and NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING to show for it!!!!!!! When I questioned him he said he couldn’t remember – okay for some of it perhaps but really?!? Bitter still after 16 years?! YES! He took options away from me that were not his to take! If I had known the truth I wouldn’t have married him or stayed with him. How do I know this? Easy, a boyfriend before him was claiming bankruptcy for 3 grand and I was like um no, not for me. Not that its about money, its not, its about the responsibility of it. Would I have missed out on things? Yes, but what did he take away from in hiding this from me? One will never know. I don’t know how to get over the fact he took that from me, without even thinking about it and hid it! Not just once, but a few times!!!!! Yes, I could have left when I found out the first time about the debt and the fact he lived with his mom until shortly before we met in real life but I didn’t. I forgave. I did forgive for the living with mom thing, again I wouldn’t have dated him had I known the truth but that is easier to forgive. Then we were married over a year with a month old baby girl in a new house we just purchased, I have a conversation with his younger brother to find out more lies, and have to corner him to get answers. WTH?!? All the lies he told me about the debt….even now as I type it overwhelms me
I’m just a normal wife, who’s been divorced with two beautiful daughters. I feel I have lived many lives over, as I get older I realize I am not the only one who has this feeling. I wanted a place to write and express my feelings, for me but perhaps one of my moments will help someone else feel less lonely.