This evening as I sit on my couch drinking a glass of red wine I realized I need to slow down a bit… Mentally.
Since starting this journey I have wanted to do nothing but rush through the pain, anger and frustration. Feeling on top of the world one day and sinking ship the next. Lately if even the smallest thing does not go as planned it sends me into a spiral of negativity followed by tears. This morning I got up as usual, drank my coffee, got ready and feeling like I was on point and then my Binks woke up. He was having some tummy issues and a slight fever and I knew this kid was not going to school today. After getting him settled with some pedialyte and snuggled in his blanket, I went to text my boss that I would need to work from home today. When I picked up the phone I started to ball because I had a very set plan for my work day and needed to stick to that plan so I could keep the momentum I have acquired. I know many of you are thinking how could be upset when I’m so lucky to have the flexibility to work from home? Don’t get me wrong I’m so incredibly blessed with my career and those I work for but in my mind at that moment my plans were ruined. After composing myself I grabbed my work bag and went to my home office area and sitting in the corner were these two wooden boxes with my favorite sayings on them. I had forgotten I bought those for my little work corner, it put a smile in my heart and I immediately hung them up. With these now hanging on my wall, I looked at my schedule for today and immediately started making that plan work for me while at home. The crazy thing is, I got all of my things I needed done today and I survived my plan having a little hiccup.
That was just one example of how I react to things not going as planned. Most days I get upset with myself because I feel I need to feel a certain way. The thing is I need to cut myself some slack and allow for myself to go through emotions and let’s things just roll. Besides that’s my journey, finding myself and learning from the situation. The only thing I need to remember is to neve give up and stay true to my intentions. God has given me a roof over our heads, food in our tummys, a car to get to place to place and great career with a bright future. That is more than most have. I need to be humbled with the strength he has given me and remember to enjoy this journey.