This is why

One of my biggest fears is losing someone I care about. Its like I’m afraid to lose that person but at the same time I have the biggest attitude in the world and I often push people way simply because I’m scared. I often say things I don’t mean when I’m angry and then regret it later. I want things my way or no way at all and often I will give up on a relationship instead of trying to compromise because of my pride. I need a certain amount of attention and if I don’t get it I often get mad about pointless things just so you’ll know I’m there.

I don’t like change so therefore I’m afraid to try new things or leave the place I call home. I have an extreme amount of anxiety that I do not know how to cope with so I don’t really like to go out where there is a lot of people. I have many, many flaws and I’m afraid that I’m never going to find someone who can love me regardless of them. I worry too much and I assume the worst about almost everything just because things don’t usually go right for me. If I love you I want to put you in a little bubble where you can never be taken away from me. I’ve lost to much and I’ve had to much heartache to let you out of my sight. If I go two hours without a text I worry. It’s not because I’m clingy or because I don’t trust you, it’s simply because the world doesn’t seem to work out in my favor. If I annoy you or bother you I’m sorry, its just because I love you.

3 thoughts on “This is why”

  1. Your entire first paragraph sounds exactly like something I would write. I’m one year older than you. So when does everyone promise that things get better? :/

  2. I have learned in life that things change. Not always for the better, or what we wish for, but its always changing. One day everything is going great & your so happy, then BAM it all goes down hill. Ofcourse, there’s always the never ending change in weather 🙂 Just try to remember, IT WILL GET BETTER… years from now you’ll look back & say… I hated feeling like that. I truly hope this happens for you.
    Hugs Turtle

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