I’m completely lost. I don’t know how to function any more. I have been enveloped by the darkness and numbness. There is no color left in my eyes everything is black and grey. In Harry potter there is the story of the three brothers, out of the three I am the one that will greet death as an old friend. The steel has found its way to my skin once again and pain seems the only way I can feel. Opening old wounds, and making new ones. The red ribbon brings a deep sigh of relief to my otherwise lost soul. As I sit and watch it seep out I am reminded of how much I’ve missed it. The revelation comes that I’ve never gotten over this addiction just replaced it with other addictions. Sex, Alcohol, Drugs. All of these things have been covering up the problems and making me numb and now that I’m not drinking or snorting anymore Pain has made its way back into my life to ease the burden of feeling anything other than numb.