I am on day two of my VLCD and its already depressing in some ways. I am allowed four meals of about 200 calories each. One meal is a chocolate shake. Another meal consists of two small bars (one chocolate, one peanut butter) that each have a funky aftertaste. My favorite meal is the vanilla pudding. I add a ton of cinnamon to it and let it set in the freezer for an hour or so. Its thick and filling, plus it tastes like tiramisu. My dinner is usually dried soy-based “chili” that I have to reconstitute. Surprisingly, I really enjoy it because its the closest thing to real food I get since it has like five beans in it.
Physically I’ve been hungry, but I’ve been able to offset the hunger pangs with my “free foods” which include broth, sugar free jello, crystal light and diet soda. I am really missing having real food. I’m not craving junk at all, but I would kill for some chicken breast and asparagus or broccoli. It just feels so unnatural to live off of this food that I perceive as garbage, even if nutritionally its complete. Sure, half the reason I got fat was because I ate too much garbage while being buzzed on my evening glasses of wine, but my normal eating habits include many whole REAL foods.
Thanksgiving is coming up and it will actually mark one week since beginning my program. My doctor said I can do whatever I want on Thanksgiving and Christmas, however I really want to do this straight through. The more successful I am now, the sooner I can stop these nasty meal replacements and start integrating real food back into my diet. However, because the holiday marks one week of success, I am going to follow the “emergency meal” protocol (which is what I would be eating if say, for example, I forgot my meal replacement and I’m starving). This means I can have 5-6 ounces of white meat turkey and 2 cups of non-starchy vegetables. It will be nice to have real food for one meal while still technically being compliant.
Just since yesterday I’ve lost just about three pounds. Of course its mostly water weight, especially since I’m on a new ketogenic diet, but its still awesome! Its three less pounds to have to deal with ever again! This evening I’m going to outline my goals and rewards for reaching them. I think I’m also going to make a trip to Hobby Lobby to keep myself busy and maybe even find something there that can keep me busy at home.
Yesterday I touched on how the enemy inside of me kept bothering me with thoughts of failure. Today, I haven’t had any negative thoughts. A little whining about how much this sucks at times, but I’m doing it! I got through one day and survived. I’ll get through today just as well and tomorrow. I don’t know if it will get easier, but I can’t imagine it getting any harder either. I just have to suck it up and keep picturing how great I will look and feel when this is all said and done.