Letter to My First Love

Dear Darrin,

May of 2012, I met the love of my life and my best friend on a dating site. Five days later, we were officially dating and I was very timid about us because you live in Oregon and I live in Illinois. But that didn’t stop us from falling in love and becoming so close. If I was asked when we first started dating if we would have lasted, honestly I would have said no because it didn’t seem possible. But now three years later, I am still utterly amazed at our situation. I know that we haven’t been together since 2013 and hadn’t talked since 2014,  but never once did I forget about you. I love you and that’s all that should ever matter. I know that our situation was really fucked up but I definitely wouldn’t change any of it because it was part of me falling in love with you. We may have never seen each other but you were definitely the only person I can see myself being fully happy with. I know that probably doesn’t matter now but I’m still gonna wish everyday that you were still mine.  A couple days ago, I made a fake Facebook just so I could find you and talk to you. I’m stilling trying to figure out if that was a good idea or not. We hurt each other for an entire year after we broke up, but I don’t want to continue to hurt each other. I just can’t walk away no matter how bad this gets. You told me that you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend, who came after me. You have stronger feelings for her and you want to be with her now, and even though that tears me up inside so much, I know that I will always be one phone call, one text message, or one skype call away. I don’t get why I choose to stick around even though it crushes me every time I talk to you because I know that you have moved on, kinda.
Darrin I am sorry for everything that i put you through.
I promise to always love you and always be here for you no matter what happens.
Can you promise me one thing though…? Promise me that you won’t forget that amazing year we spent together. Promise me that you won’t forget how much you loved me at one time. Promise me that you won’t forget that you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. But most importantly promise me you won’t forget that I am not going anywhere and that I love you Darrin Michael.

I love you Darrin Michael.
I miss you…
I need you…to stay in my life…
I need you..because you are my other half and my soul mate…

Hayley President.

 

2 thoughts on “Letter to My First Love”

  1. I was really touched Hayley, I hope you get everything you’re hoping for. Remember, what’s meant to be, will be, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait around, and you can’t always bully things your way. Let him go back to her, and it will show him where his heart really lay. We only accept the love we think we deserve, accept all that anyone has to give 🙂

    Dee

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