Dear Robbie,

I choose to remember you this way. How? I’m not sure where to begin, but I hope I’m doing this right. If not, I’m sorry.

I remember when Farida first brought you to our writers’ club gathering. I remember your smile and how she glowed from just sitting next to you. How we both teased her and she’d turned red as we gave each other a high-five, laughing and feeling amused by her reaction.

I remember how your eyes had softened at the sight of her. How romantic and sweet.

I remember how you liked the stories I wrote and read. You said most of them were dark and rather disturbing, but also original and genuine. You said I’d make it big and suggested that I keep pursuing my writing career.

I remember you calming me down after I’d broken down in front of everybody, all because I loved a guy but realised that he might never love me back. You told me that I was beautiful but often unaware of that about myself. You said that someday, there would be a very lucky man because he’d choose to be with me like I’d choose to be with him. All I have to do is be myself and keep the faith.

I’ll try, buddy. I’ll try. Thanks so much for having reminded me that and encouraged me. I don’t have Dad anymore, and my younger brother is still busy preparing his wedding this December – but I’m not going to blame him for this feeling. Besides my best friend Hazel Eyes, you’re like the other big brother I’ve always wanted. I remember how you’d been worried sick that the guy I’d been going out with (although shortly) might only have wanted to take an advantage of me. You said I deserved someone much better than that.

Thank God I’d listened to you and Farida. I owe you guys that.

I remember how you didn’t mind me calling you ‘Robbie’ instead of ‘Rob’. I remember how you said that I was more like a kid sister to you – and that any guy out there who didn’t treat me right would only mean looking for serious trouble from you.

I remember how you said this about Farida: “She’s the love of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I remember how you and I had agreed that we all made mistakes but always hoped for forgiveness and second chances.

So Robbie, I choose to remember you this way. I hope it’s okay. I hope you’ll forgive me if I’d ever said or done something wrong to you. I’ll be praying for your soul to be forgiven by God, so that you can rest in peace.

So long, buddy…


(For #RCB )

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