Trying to beat addiction

I feel like I am running out of emotions. I am an ex-heroin addict… Ya, I know. Well, the only “friend” that I love, won’t even aknowledge me anymore and it hurts me so bad. He is always putting me down and hurting me in any emotional way he can. I live with him at the moment so that even intensifies things. I am in an outpatient rehab program and I am doing great 🙂 8 days clean now HEROIN FREE! Thank God, that is such a relief. But now, he’s killing me inside, and honestly I feel like I can’t do it anymore. I have no family, theyre all gone 🙁 and I cut like crazy now… That sux. But it helps me or so I seem to think that it does (it’s a mental thing). I just wish I had someone who actually cared about me or even just a real friend that supported me through this, it would really help. I feel my whole world just caving in on me and I feel like there is nothing I can do. God, please give me the opportunity to find strenght and courage through this all.

SUSann BRown

2 thoughts on “Trying to beat addiction”

  1. Just the fact that all of this is going on and you have 8 days clean is amazing. Don’t forget that in all the mess! Cutting is a dangerous thing and is considered an addiction as well. I hope that you are involved in NA in your area and can make true friends there who will support you in all that you will go through in being clean. Also, you mentioned God…Celebrate Recovery is a recovery program that I have just recently become acquainted with. It’s another 12 step program but for me the difference is that it is teaching me to seek God in my recovery. Also, the women’s group has made a huge difference! I have never had female friends before now and my life has never been so full of unconditional love and support. I hope that you find people to help you along. I will be praying for you! You are a miracle 🙂

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