Entry 4 – the feeling

Theres a time when the feeling comes, all of my doings felt wrong to me. Not just for a temporary time, sometimes it takes a week. I felt hesitate about everything. I dont feel right eventhough that things should cheer me up as everyday.

What was it about? Am i do wrong? Am i breaking the law? Or maybe that im having too much sin but so little repent. Indeed. I’ve tried so many things to relief it yet its still not work. I try to play badminton with friends, watching movies and eating still the feeling wont fade. What am i suppose to do with it?

This is not an article writen for me to tell you that im a good boy or else. It is an experience for me to share it to you as we’re brothers and brothers success together. “Someone at the lowest point, will open their greatest change”. I come to the tazkirah after maghrib and ustaz tell that allah said in quran “only by remembering allah, your heart will calm”. It really touched deep inside my heart. Ustaz encourage us to read. Read the quran. After that, it really makes me come into tear after long time not to read quran. The feeling fades.

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