Dear Hannah

Dear Hannah,

I’m sitting here, yet again, thinking about you. Like usual, you’re consuming my thoughts from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep. If only you were here, in my arms where you belong. Friday marked 4 years since we broke up. To me, it feels like forever. For three and a half of those years, I’ve kicked myself every day for letting you go. It’s ironic, huh? I’m the one that did you wrong, yet I let YOU go. You have no idea how sorry I am. I know I screwed up our relationship. I never treated you like the princess you are. I was stupid, selfish, manipulative, and just immature. All you wanted was a fairy tale relationship, and I came well short of that. If I could go back in time, believe me, things would be different. But unfortunately, I can’t. I took you for granted, and now I’m sitting here, all alone. The grass wasn’t greener on the other side. She’s a great girl, but she’s just not you. Nobody else ever will be. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to talk to you. Hearing your voice today made my heart feel warm, even if you were with your boyfriend, and weren’t even talking to me. You looked so beautiful in your dress. It was bittersweet. I got to see you, and even hear your voice, but I also had to watch you sit with him, and rub his back. It kinda made me remember why I haven’t been to our church in over a year. If only you could see inside my heart, and feel my love for you. I know you’re with him, and you seem to be happy, but I’m in love with you. I not only want you in my life, I need you in my life. Every day, I slowly die a little more inside. I know I should be content with Jesus in my heart, but without you, there’s still a hole in my heart. You were always the strong one when it came to faith anyway. I never told you this, but I know for a fact we’re meant to be together. After a few months of thinking about you nonstop, even though I was with her, I finally broke down. It had been months since we had texted, and I had always texted you first. I broke down and prayed about it. I told God I knew being with my girlfriend seemed like the logical thing, but I didn’t understand why you were on my mind so much. I asked God, “if me and Hannah are meant to be together, let me hear from her tonight, or have contact with her.” Not long after that, you texted me saying you thought you saw my truck in the parking lot. That was all the answer I needed. I know all I should do is be patient, but it’s so hard. You have no idea how hard it is, just getting through the day. A lot of people would have given up by now, but I can’t give up. I love you, and I need you. I want to marry you, and have babies with you. I want to respect you, and treat you like a princess. Sex? Not until marriage. I made that mistake the first time. I don’t need it. You’re more important to me than that. I just wanna hold you in my arms, look into your beautiful brown eyes, kiss your lips, and tell you how much you mean to me. I hope, and I believe, I will get that chance with you. Until then, my memories and my dreams will have to do. You’re perfect, and you’ll always have a place in my heart. I love you, Hannah, more than you’ll ever know.

<3 RTW

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