Do you ever wake up and just feel lost? Lately everyday is a lost feeling. I dont know where else to express myself because if i put something on facebook it apparently hurts other peoples feelings. Im ready to change my life, go back to school finally. Im 25 next month 26 and im at this standstill. I have a serving job which iv been at for 5 years. I have my own apartment, car. Im a mother. But I just want more I know I wasnt born just to do this every day forever.
So school is step #1 but after that what if i still feel this way? Is it me or is it other people making me feel like this. My boyfriend is a good guy, but he lives a state away a hour to a hour an a half away. I did this for 2 years before, but i never felt this alone. I know hes busy with work but he calls me maybe twice a day we talk… but he doesnt text back during the day. Its hard to believe someone is ALWAYS busy, and its almost like hes bored after 3 months. Maybe its me maybe its overthinking but i didnt sign up for this. I knew he lived far but i thought itd be diffrent. And what if i sit around waiting for something to change that never will? Facebook doesnt have our relationship status, theres no pictures theres times he doesnt answer his phone around me. Or puts stuff on facebook without hearing from him. I just dont want to feel like im not important. I dont wanna feel alone. I dont wanna date someone that doesnt want to make memories with me and go out and do things. Maybe i just should of stayed single. Maybe i should of worked on myself, school, a better job, before i decided to jump back into a relationship. But he just seemed to good to pass up. Im not sayin hes not worth being with… but theres so much more that i want out of a relationship that i dont really think he cares about. But i do.
Im not really sure where my relationship goes from here, but i do know where im going to start with my new life and thats school and thats a start to make me better and happy. As far as a boyfriend i just dont care anymore.