I keep forgetting I’m pregnant. Well no, forgetting is not the right word, more like I can’t believe I’m pregnant. This isn’t some romcom where boy meets girl and they have a passionate romance and then the girl in a cute and comedicly timed moment throws up then gets a look on her face of ‘oh no’ before rushing out to buy a pregnancy test, pee on the stick while muttering math of how long ago her last period was, only to zoom in on a for sure clearer than day positive. No this child was thought of, wished for, prayed for, tried for over years and years. Now that it really is happening it’s hard to believe, but every time I remember or remind myself “you are pregnant” I get giddy all over again.
I truly have to remind myself honestly, I’m basically symptom-less. Which I know I would get stoned to death by any mother that has gone through the full 9 months of pregnancy with all the typical symptoms for complaining about; why aren’t I getting morning (and afternoon and night) sickness?! Boo-hoo! Don’t get me wrong, I loath being sick to my stomach, its one of the worst feelings in the world, but I just wish I would feel pregnant. I do emotionally, then again I talked to my future children before they were born when I would picture them in the loving arms of their late grandparents, my biological father and mother who will not get to meet them here on Earth.
Don’t get me wrong I’m gassy as all else, which if you think you’re unfortunate to know you’re still better off than those unfortunate to be down wind! Not lady like I know, but these are facts people, and if I can’t be honest with my journal who can I be honest with? The ‘girls’ are growing some, not that they aren’t already murder on my back but I wont complain, after all these gals will be feeding my son or daughter in nearly 34 weeks.
Ya know when you say it in weeks it doesn’t seem nearly a life time away. It’s nearly Christmas in a few weeks, its a comfort to know next year our little one with be cuddled warm in our arms as we unwrap gifts and start new family traditions. Christmas has always been a favorite of mine, but truly this year it really is the most wonderful time of the year. I’m aglow with maternal love for this little life in me. Each day is a small step closer to making it to the near safety zone of the second trimester. I wont get my second hcg results back until mid to late next week but since there was no more spotting I’m not too concerned, though the peace of mind would be nice. Peace on Earth and a peace of mind, my two Christmas wishes this year.