i was always awarded with the episodes where things were obviously flipped against me. whatever agents, entities, or forces that aided it, such were secured amid a reality, that was typically shaped amid my expression & strive toward creative excellence.
As as of lately, I’ve taken some severe hits. Hits that wavered heavily on not just sanity, but on freedom, well being, and mere safety. It’s been so severe that I’ve indeed resorting to sharing them because keeping the inside has kept me amid a cycle of derogatory.
I was working hard @ one of my recent day jobs. It was amid my sought after destiny, that their numbers escalated beyond anything they’d ever imagined. Of course, as usual, I was never allowed credit for it. Actually, I was neglected, turned against, and not even given the raise I worked hard for, even though they told me it would happen. I used to go to work & my leg would ache the entire day until I left. I would also see rats constantly, typically, simultaneously when I was disrespected by someone there. I would write down these instances, and the wave of negativity would move from person to person. It was both cool & haunting.
After one of, if not, the most horrible day of my life, which I know was propelled by parents, co-workers, alienation, stress, and a sincere strive to succeed, I was unlawfully beaten by cops. I’ve already had two surgeries, left three jobs in one year, exuded with physical pains that swin within my body at different intervals, lost my manager & best friend (just because I did n’t move when they wanted), consistently dealt with black magic attacks from Mason’s on my family (who are the people consistently around me), fought inner thoughts of suicide, and dealt with two very insane people (my parents).
There’s process I use, but such does n’t allow me to live a normal life, to have friends, find a mate, or even prepare to record/write.
Basically, I’m expanding on what’s constantly happening to me because prayer, taking care of myself as best as I can, and turning away from negative, still exudes dark & pain. I guess, the solace for now is expressing it.
Yes, my parents have been very very abusive, but they were n’t raised to acknowledge such. So it continues to happen. It’s no wonder I have the issues regarding wealth, relationships, coupling, sex, & whatever else. When I look at them, I understand why my life is so troubled in that area.
I really don’t know what to do except prepare for the interview. I don’ for the suit thing, but I just spent 1,000 on a job, that I had to leave, out of respect for myself. Now, I’m trying to figure out why…
p.s. The Chruch Without Walls is controlled by Mason’s like most churches. My parents refuse to see it. The Angels refuse to help. I guess I need a healthful, positive, and successful way out without losing a job, my livelihood, my reputation, money, my cars, and most importantly, my sanity. I can explain the car thing later, as well as the sexual abuse via two places where we’re taught to go for love…