Meeting you was weird. I mean we met on Tinder… But I won’t ever tell people that. You’re only 18, so young compared to most guys I talked too. But 18 didn’t matter because it seemed like you had everything going for you. A nice truck, a stable career. I only knew you a month before you got deployed, I wish I would’ve met you sooner. You promised me a lot, I shouldn’t have had any expectations though. It’s my fault for thinking you were different. It’s now been a month since you’ve left & we’ve grown distant. You blame it on stress, I blame it on you just being lonely before you left. We still talk daily, but our talks have grown into subtle conversation, repeating over and over again each day. “How was your day” “I miss you” “night”. You’ve seemed to stop caring, while I’m here in the states wondering if I should put any effort into you. Confusion is the best word to describe how I feel. Confused about what you want, confused about if you actually care, confused on if you’ll be mine when you come home. I try explaining this to you but you’ve grown frustrated about hearing it, you always tell me to quit and that you still care for me. But I can tell by your words and actions that’s not how you feel. Why do you still try? Am I just confused? I don’t know what it’s like being overseas, I don’t the stress you have, and I sure don’t want to add to it. I’m at my breaking point, I told you I would wait for you to get home but I’m not too entirely sure if that’s what I want to do anymore. Why would I wait when I don’t even know what you want? If you decide on what you want, I can’t guarantee I’ll still be here. I care for you, but I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to get hurt again, I don’t want to waste away another year of my life, especially after just getting out of a 3 year relationship.
Sincerely, confused infantrymans girl.