Missing a loved one

Just bored and thought id write another journal entry. Its cold here, I just went outside to smoke,and it was very cold. I am waiting for my neice Ashley to finish what shes doing so we can go watch a scary movie. We still gotta wrap a ton of Christmas presents too! This is a really cool website,I usually do all my journaling in a book, but this is really neat. When i get my laptop for Christmas I am goona start keeping one on here as well. I posted one of my favorite owl pictures on this entry. I am a owl fanatic. I just started collecting them in the last year. When my cousin Judy passed last Dec.26th, I wanted to start a new collection of something and owls was what i chose. She was very clever and smart….owls are very wise creatures! I just think they are adorable! I have owls banks,earrings,necklaces,shirts,scarves,journals,and figurines in m room. Im geting a huge owl cookie jar for Christmas from my cousin Deb and her hubby Jim. Im also getting  owl mug, and owl salt n pepper shakers from my hubby Randy. I will be loaded down with owls,lol! oh yeah, i have an owl purse,too! Wish i could find me some tennis shoes and pajamas with owls on them. I seen some awesome owl tattoos today, while searching the web. They were big tattoos though,the owls were colored in with purple ink, and that was Judys fav color,purple! I really miss her alot! We had been together for so long,we were more like sisters…than cousins! She was my Best Friend,and we shared alot of good and bad times. I will forever cherish the memories we made together. I know her suffering is over and she is no longer sick or in pain,but my heart is still aching from the loss of her. She had been sick for awhile,but we never knew she was close to death sick.I will never forget our last Christmas with her,she was too sick to eat but she managed to take a few bites of the dinner she had chosen for me to cook.It was the last bites of food she took before she passed away, the day after Christmas,last year. As we quickly approach our first Christmas without here, I find myself wondering,how her 2 boys will handle the day after Christmas,the 1 year anniversary of their beloved mothers death? I pray that they will do ok,but if they wanna cry, Im gonna let them know its ok to cry and grieve for their Mother. I know im gonna cry and be very sad that day. I know Ashley and Michael will be too! Ashley,looks so much like Judy and has a temper and ways like her too! Sometimes me and her will get to laughing out loud about something and i swear it feels like Judy is right here with us laughing with us! I see alot of Judy in Jason as well. She was a hoot to be around,and she touched many peoples lives,and she had many friends. NaeNae, i just want u to know that we love and miss u very much! Christmas want be the same without you here with us.I know u will be watching the boys open their presents,so please send me a sign that u are near. I want to talk to u so bad and hear ur laughter,as we talk and joke like we used to! I still cry when i think about u and i dont think my heart will ever heal from the loss of you! I think of u every time I eat chinese food,when i smell fresh cut grass, when I see watermelon,or when i see something purple, and I know you would have liked it. You never forget the ones u love,you will live forever in our hearts! I hope Heaven is everything we dreamed it would be! I hope u are putting in a good word for all of us,to our Heavenly Father! One day we will meet again! Well guess i better go, gotta cook Justin some french fries and hot dogs @ 1:23 am in the morning.I will write more later! Sweet dreams!






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