Lust filled with love

So things arent really looking up.i’m deeply confused,if you read my previous post about incest it says that I had sex with the guy that night before my cousin. That guy i’ve kind of always had a crush on,meaning I think he’s cute not really dating material.but I don’t know maybe something could’ve been made from it. But I was shot down before I even asked. I was going to come out I liked him, just so I could try to get over my cousin. So I talk to my other cousin about how much I like the boy. And my cousin told me oh well he just texted me that he had sex with this girl a few minutes ago. I don’t know why that hurt me so bad I mean I didn’t really even care for him that much.I don’t know it just seems that I get attached to people after we have sexual intercourse. But I’ll get over it I guess. I’m more upset at the fact that now I have to figure out a new way to try to get over the love for my cousin. It’s all really shitty and I’m trying everything in my power to move past this. But I’m having a hard time. I know that this isn’t just lust for my cousin, because I’ve always have these feelings. I’ve always found him attractive. And he sending mixed signals back which makes it harder. He says things it cousins normally wouldn’t say to each other. But he’s a player and I know this and he fucks with peoples emotions. I just I feel like I’m being sucked in. And I don’t know how to deal with this there’s no manual script on how to get over your cousin you had a one night stand with. So if anyone has any advice let me know. Because I’m lost, I’m not sure about how I feel about anything anymore besides him. Please help I’m so lost and I have no one to turn to.
Side note: I hope y’all are doing well and if not stay strong things will look up they always do.

One thought on “Lust filled with love”

  1. Why don’t you love yourself? If you want love that much why don’t you love? If you want a healthy relationship, that might be hard to find. Look at the positive.

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