My heart hurts so bad…

I miss him so much that it hurts my very chest…and sometimes feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack. I spent 2 whole days & nights in my room (it was our room). I don’t see his backpack in the corner. The alien ware system or his Texas coat. I should have never become so angry that I hurt him. I go to the box that had the engagement ring he gave me. I think about him all the time. He wasn’t just my fiance…he was my BEST FRIEND. Now…life is silent. I shouldn’t have kept his hoodie with batman on it…but I wanted something to remind me of him. I keep hearing this & that…but my heart aches for him. It aches & aches. It’s almost 1am. I never stay up that late. I fall asleep or get on the verge…and realize I am all alone again. He’s so far now. I cry out in the dark for him, “Bug, please…where are you?!” I cry. I hold on to his pillow…it faintly smells like his hair. His big beautiful blue eyes I miss looking into. At the end of the day…I NEVER MEANT WHAT I SAID! I was so miserable and felt I’d see no help. I miss my Nealy Bug & I pray for him to love me enough to talk to me. I cry out and grab his pillow…I hold it close to my chest & sob away. I miss you Bug. I KNOW where my wrong doings were made. Will I ever see him again? Will we ever be what we tried so hard to work at? Will I always be here…sick…and alone? I love him God, PLEASE bring him back to me! I am LOST without him. I want my best friend back. I can’t do this! God Nealy Bug…I love you,

4 thoughts on “My heart hurts so bad…”

  1. been through that.
    *hugs*
    cry all you need.
    sleepless nights were the hardest.
    i picked up photography during that time and it became an outlet for me.
    all the best to you.
    *hugs*

  2. i went through a very painful break up in 2007. i took a few years to get over it.
    one “life reminder” that was very helpful back then was “YOU HAVE A CHOICE”.
    it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by Life and then just go with the flow but always remember you have a choice.
    you have a choice to cry, you have a choice to text him and see if he will come back, you have a choice to do things for yourself. you have a choice to hide. even if you are feeling broken hearted, you have a choice to feel that way.
    just remember, you have a choice.

  3. I went through it in 2006 and wanna know the truth it was in may we couldn’t get along and I finally got through it the pain slowly now I have the best women in the world the one that wont break my heart

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