tunnel

Duplicity

And so I go,
I rise above confinement
and challenge the unfamiliar,
guided by the courage of the Wild Women before me.
YOU do not scare me,
YOU can not stop me,
I trust in myself
and I know the best course
through the thickets of my life.
So I challenge the unknown
with curiosity and pride
         I’ve got THIS!
With confidence in my stride-
I achieve,
I am unstoppable.

But darkness encroaches,
emerging with a force I can not fight,
my body assumes a well versed stance;
         shoulders slumped,
         head slung,
         eyes wide.
There is nothing more I can do here,
so I hide.
I withdraw in to ‘comfort’
and hold myself there,
for now I am safe
consumed in my fear.
This shelter of armor-
you cannot get inside,
you cannot understand these demons I abide,
But I will give you my power, 
my courage and pride,
as I slowly grow weaker
behind ‘me’ that I hide,
And wait,
And search
for my strength in you.
My praise of you isn’t steadfast,
         I know.
The victim doesn’t linger,
the fear never lasts.

The smoldering remnants of me grow hotter,
       restless,
longing for structure.
It spreads through me.
       Slowly.
Until my soul is consumed
and again,
I am unstoppable.
I challenge myself to take on the world;
Courage is my staff, 
my soul- a shield.
No boundaries,
NOTHING is off limits;
I am Joan of Arc
I am the Wild West
I am strong!

Until I am not,
and ebb in to seclusion
where I cache my frailty,
guilt,
confusion.

 

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