Winter holidays, Christmas lights, books and me ^__^

From today during a month i’m away from school for vacation ^^ To be honest i need this time to advance my studies and use it up wholly.. I have to admit that even one year ago this Christmas was connected to my endless sorrow i still feel too much happiness inside.. Well it was over , i promise myself that it wont ever happen again if i listen to my inner voice … So once i’ve hurt and that’s the last ^^ And now there is a long time in front of me and i can’t just calm down … Yeah Christmas also makes me feel happy but my studies really drive me insane ^^ when i imagine scores i dream of i’m ready not to even sleep at night and only study…. History , Georgian, math and English thats my 4 happiness this year…^^

Even through i’m not satisfied with my daily work i still believe that there’s nothing i can’t achieve.. I dont know, maybe there’s God with me and i believe because of that but i learn, honestly i learn too and i will just kill myself with studying during this month ^^

Well… Love is away from me …forever away and i’m glad to feel that )): i dont really wish love for this Christmas…All i need it to get in top 100 …God help me please )):

I will do all my best and i know you will be here with me ))):

Sometimes i’m afraid that this happiness is temporary and something terrible is gonna happen…Don’t know but somehow i have inner expectation of this and it brings me kind of depression…since my favorite teacher died i have a fear that i will lose someone i love too much and i know i cant face up to it…

Besides this i’m terribly jealous … Doest matter if there is a reason or not i’m jealous of almost every boy i like …..but damn ^^ i hate love and i should let all of them act like they wish. Anyway my heart is no longer ready and opened for anyone else )):

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