I don’t wanna leave.
Not now that I finally have a reason to stay.
I’ve told myself that this was going to be fine, that I would’ve spent this Christmas and then I would’ve left it all behind.
And then what? I met this guy. And screw my plans.
Now I’m struggling and craving over him, like a complete mad-ass.
Truth is, I’m a mess at crushing. I’ve told my cousin about that and it’s so damn embarassing. But this is not the main problem. At all.
I really feel like crying at this point.
I only have 6 days left, and I really feel like I won’t have enough time to do shit. And it feels like dying, all over again. I keep on saying I can easily take the pain, cause I’ve been hurt so many times I can’t even remember. But everytime it hurt in a different kind of way. Harder and deeper. Deeper wounds, harder times.
I know you probably don’t care, but I really feel like if I don’t let it out somewhere I would totally go mad and brust into tears any moment of my breathing. I wasn’t expecting any of this, and, goddamn, screw you love.