Don’t turn a blind eye

Domestic Violence all to real in the world around us yet so many people turn a blind eye.  Your neighbor, co-worker, friend, sister, brother, son (no it does not just happen to women).  If you suspect that someone is being abused and you do nothing doesn’t that make you just as guilty.  I lived in an abusive relationship for over a year (it was not a secret the bruises, cuts, scrapes proved otherwise).  Why didn’t I leave that is the question everyone asks.  Well I lived on a 400 acre rural farm in a town of 1000 with no vehicle and if I did manage to get a phone it was shattered into pieces before I could make the first call.  I was a housewife (another word for you aren’t allowed to work because you may leave me).  Although in the beginning I had friends they were all alienated and after you tell them you can’t see them (even though that is not your response) so many times they give up on you.  I live to tell this story only because I finally convinced him to let a couple of friends come stay for the weekend and they got a first hand seat at a weekend long torture.  (Let me preface by saying they did not have a vehicle they were dropped off) .  On a Friday night I apparently said something in appropriate which caused me to get a black eye and bruising down my back and neck.  The friends were in shock but not exactly sure what to do did nothing.  This did not stop until Sunday, he just kept becoming enraged.  After a broken orbital bone, elbow, being choked until I blacked out and drug through over half the farm with no shoes on until my feet were bloody he finally decided to make a trip to the store.  Did I mention living on a farm in the middle of no where. (cell phone service was pretty much void in most areas)  The female friend after walking miles called 911 and thankfully the ambulance and police arrived only minutes before he got back.  His story was that I fell.  I went to the hospital and he went to jail (only a year because of the small town politics it was considered battery although witnesses heard him say he was going to kill me)   I relocated four hours away but after two years I am still plagued with the nightmares of the weekend that play over in my head like a never ending movie.  The point to this is if you suspect even a hint of abuse report it. You ever know who’s life you may be saving.  The physical scars have healed but the emotional ones may never. 

Abused in a small town

3 thoughts on “Don’t turn a blind eye”

  1. My heart goes out to you. I am happy that you were able to get away from this situation. You are a strong person. I’m trying to be strong in my recent situation but there is so much confusion. Going through therapy and trying to figure things out. May I be as blessed.

  2. Thank you for the kind words. I don’t know if it is abusive but if it is physically or mentally do your best to make a game plan. Therapy helps. I loved my abuser or thought I did even up to the day I got out. Do what is best for you and your life.

  3. I have been where you have been, I was with my abuser for 3 years, one son. Everyone has there reasons for not leaving. Also, I think people who go through domestic violence carry the emotional scars with them. Its been 4 years later and I still have nightmares of times I was put into the hospital. You are a strong person because you finally said thats enough. Now you can tell your story so hopefully someone else out there can say thats enough. I can say it does get better, it sometimes takes a while and for me, flashbacks and tendencies happen. I cannot be in a room where a man raises his voice. My current boyfriend knows of issues I have and we work through it. You will find your own ways to work through issues and discover you can do things different now that your away from your abuser. My advice is don’t ever blame yourself no matter how hard it is. It will get easier, better just take it one day at a time.

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