Jesus Christ I’m tired of this….

So it appears that Blake has taken interest in some skinny, blonde little tart. 

Sure. Me and Blake are just “friends”, but he hasn’t been so talkative lately. And now I know why. She’s pretty. She’s itsy-bitsy and blue-eyed and cute. I’m a whale. Guys keep losing interest in me and going for tiny little waif girls.

Well, Blondie. Eat your fucking heart out. I’m going to make myself smaller than you. 

I am 5’6″, and I weigh 145 lb. That’s a “healthy weight”. That’s some bullshit. I look like a heifer. I hate my body. I’m fucking heavy. No guy would be able to lift me. I’d take up all of the space if we were cuddling on the couch. I’m tired of being abandoned and I’m tired of being a jealous fat girl. NO MORE.

I’m going to work out until I feel like I am about to die. I’m going to eat like a dainty little bird until my bathroom scale reads 115. I did the research, and that would make my bmi 18.6. Underweight is 18.5. So I would just be teetering on the edge. *I* want people to envy *me*. *I* want to be the one that’s hated. *I* want to be who girls look at for inspiration. *I* want jealous women to whisper “Oh my god, she’s so skinny!” 

I want to be perfect. 

2 thoughts on “Jesus Christ I’m tired of this….”

  1. Going through the same shit but I don’t and will never eat like a bird. I don’t like to be a bimbo like those skinny bitches, starving themselves to death that their brains shrink to the size of a pebble. Yes, guys are attracted to what they see as beautiful but it’s still one’s personality that make them stay.

  2. I have been in your shoes and understand where you are coming from. I tried diets over years and failed till I found Ideal Protein. It has given me my self esteem back and actually works. I went from never getting looks from guys to now getting talked to regularly when I out. I’m an introvert so I don’t really spark up convo in person with random people so it’s definitely a change. You should read up on the Ideal Protein and try it. It’s a very healthy and safe way to lose weight and you’re eating!!!! You feel like you get your life back when people actually treat you like a human again….

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