still unsure

I’m feeling like I’m going to throw up. So I have an all staff meeting today with my boss. This is probably a good thing as even I felt we needed it however I hope I’m not on a chopping block. Its a strange feeling. Like I said before, Ive never worked so closely with someone before. Maybe I’m not as much of a people person as I always thought? The way it works is we all have our roles here in the company. I have always had mine and then slowly through the year I got given more things to do, more hours and more responsibility. LOved it at first, until I almost had a break down. I couldn’t talk to anyone. Couldn’t say I needed help, mostly because I didn’t want to let my boss down and also because I was scared . Scared to let other assist because I have some slight ocd tendancies and one of those is If I don’t do it myself it worn be done right. I am completely aware that this is not a good thing , centrainly not a good mind set to have but I cant seem to help it.

I never want to say no to my boss because I always think I can do it. yeah sure, pile more on… I got this. That was my motto for last year. Great in theory, not great in practice ( for me anyway)

SO now I am anxiously awating my private meeting and then the staff one. I just hope he isn’t disappointed with me. I also don’t want a huge difference in my working hours because I need the money.  I really did try and I’m not going to make him promises I may not be able to keep so hopefully others can take the reigns and start to help more and I can learn to let go a bit more.  I don’t know. I guess Ill find out soon enough. He just text me and said he is on his way….

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