Change is challenging

My therapist kindly reminded me that the process of redefining myself is going to be a long one, and to be patient with myself. What I am struggling with most, is this sense of isolation I am creating for myself. When I am around others I feel like I have nothing to say, and it’s awkward so I avoid social situations sometimes, but then I feel lonely, unloved, isolated, and from that spawns sadness. I want to feel happy and whole. I want to burst with excitement and charged about giddily with my pals… But I want to be alone… To figure my shit out. It’s a double edged sword, and I’ve got one palm on either end. I know I am happy, I can feel am ember in my soul, I am searching out things that stoke it little by little. I know that these feelings are just for now and that I will eventually regain that desire to socialize, and do so confidently again. I just have to be patient, and accepting of my current situation. Progress doesn’t culminate over night, rather little by little, each day so long as I work to maintain progress.
The day is what you make it, so rise like the sun and burn.

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