Terry Ray, my hero!

1 year ago today, I, along with our family, watched you take your last breath. I still have memories of you laying there, me holding your hand, telling you it’s okay for you to go because I knew you were in a lot of pain even though in all reality I wish you could have stayed, been healthy and never had to fight one of the hardest battles…cancer. It’s not fair that I only had 4 years of my life to get to know you. I still get angry that you were taken away from me and everyone else so soon.  I know I shouldn’t question God why, but I still do at times. The pain hasn’t gotten any better and missing you hasn’t gotten any easier. We were so much alike and when we were able to finally meet in 2011 it’s like we had known each other our whole lives and never skipped a beat. I had searched for you for so many years to find you, to finally have that empty spot I had felt filled, only to have that emptiness reappear. I know you’re still here in spirit, but it’s not the same and never will be. Again, I’m sorry about the last year we didn’t really talk much and we had had our differences. But I never stopped loving you! What I would give to just have that time back to make things right to laugh, joke, pick on each other and call each other to talk forever and ever. But I know I can never get that time back. And just like this song says: So goodbye for now and I’ll see you again some way somehow when it’s my time to go to the other side. I’ll hold you again and melt at your smile. Now all I have are the ones that I’m with and you taught me not to take for granted the time that I have with them, to show that I care, speak into their minds and their hearts while they’re here and say I love you.

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