Dreaming of What Once Was…

The worst kind of dreams to have are the ones that wake you up and leave you having a bad day, whether pissed off or feeling down, you just get stuck in the mud of a funk you can’t shake no matter how hard you try. You think of people in your past and a feeling of sadness washes over you as you think of all the good times you used to have. Once the good memories make you sad to a certain point, then the all familiar and overwhelming feeling of anger and betrayal disfigures everything that used to exist.

Then the best part is while you have these thoughts and memories flooding your head, other memories of people associated with this one person start popping into your head and it just keeps going and going and going. The whole next day I thought about my old friend and how we went dancing together and rode her mini-bike around and the parties we had. I then thought about my first love and everything we had been through and his lifted truck and camping and parties and even when we lived with his mother for a little bit before moving in with roommates, etc. etc. etc. There are a ton more of memories and people that I  no longer have any association with what-so-ever, but I just get even more pissed off because I realize how shitty people have been to me and how dumb I was for letting it happen.

We all grow from our experiences whether good or bad. I know someone will let me down in the future and I’m sure I will let someone down too, unintentionally.

It’s better this way, for both parties, because we are exactly where we are supposed to be in our lives right now.

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