I wonder, Do people feel like I do. What goes on in their minds. Are they as insecure? Awkward? Do they crave attention? Its so hard, I want attention and I will work so hard to get it but when I get it in return I don’t want it and I feel suffocated and like they are being clingy. This happens with everyone. Why do I do this to myself? Do I not want to be happy? Like my friend, we’ll call him Nutella I worked so hard for attention and when I got it I ended up pushing him away. Like what the hell is wrong with him. I used to have the hugest crush on him and now I am so close to him. I am trying not to be so annoying but it’s weird. I do that with everyone whether it be a girl or guy. Like I’ll call her Polar Bear I did that to her and still kind of do it. She’s so damaged and I want to be there for her but it’s so hard to be there when she doesn’t want to be saved. Can’t I just let myself be loved?