This is my first diary/journal and i wished it was a happy one. However, my body is slowly dying, while my heart is breaking into pieces, and my tears are flowing down. Tonight is gloomy and raining quite hard. Friends are awesome to have but they may not always be there just when you need someone to listen to you or a shoulder to cry on. Loved ones are the best yet they also bring you the worst of things. I usually find myself feeling alone although I may be surrounded by so many people. Life just hasn’t been so easy for me lately…yes i know everyone has their bad days…but i have just been having more bad than good days. Who knew L.O.V.E could make us feel so miserable one moment and the next so happy as if nothing could go wrong. My boyfriend of 8 years wants nothing to do with me. i understand that after being together this long, and knowing im not perfect, i may drive him crazy and piss him off from time to time but who doesnt right? anyway, he recently accused me of cheating on him and it’s been going down hill since. He wants a confession, it’s the only way he will “forgive” me and move on past this issue. But, what confession is there to give when i DID NOT even cheat to begin with. Just because he ASSUMED that i cheated doesnt actually mean that i did. Yet, no matter what i said to him, he would only hear himself and awaits a confession. How much more truths can you tell someone when you have already told them the whole truth? I dont know why he has to be so complicated. i have never cheated on him and dont plan on ever cheating. Why cheat? I dont believe in cheating. “no cheating allowed please” we havent been talking much at all lately and he has been out with his buddies (which i dont mind, i understand he needs some time away and fresh air). I just hope he doesnt end up doing something stupid that he will one day regret. urggghh…im so irritated just thinking about this stupid issue we are having. i just want it to all pass and so we can go back to being happy. i miss you babe, and i wish that deep down you knew how much i really actually love you and that i would never cheat on you. i just wish that after being together for 8 years meant more than this to you. you should know me by now. it’s almost midnight and you still have me blocked so i cannot reach you. good night my love. sweet dreams and i hope we will talk tomorrow. i love you.
p.s. i just wish he understood and trust me like i do towards him. until next time diary, wish me luck. i hope the next time im here, it will be a happy diary.