Etc etc

It’s 10:30 am…I didnt get much sleep…as usual, but I got up because I stopped at Safeway on the way home and picked up coffee and creamer and I was craving a real cup of coffee…I feel fine, not emotional in any way…then there it was…the smell of coffee somehow morphed into coffee and fresh cut grass….and sunny mornings having coffee with you on our deck…I can literally FEEL the memory , smell it….just for a second but it’s so powerful…a complete, distinct moment in time where I felt you alive and the most pressing issue is if there was any coffee left for a refill…how wonderful to feel all was right in my world if even for a fleeting moment only to have such deep a sorrow wash over me that I weep as if I lost you yesterday…five years has done nothing to diminish my love or longing for you….. 

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