I probably haven’t spoken a proper sentence in a week. I can’t speak without crying and sobbing hysterically and I don’t know why. I know my mother has noticed and she tries to make conversations with me but never asks me if I’m alright. This was my warning sign please understand I’m begging you. 

5 thoughts on “Please”

  1. hey Mel. I’m james. i went through the exact same thing. I still struggle with things even to this day. I am 32 and i keep moving forward. Your mom tries to make conversations with you because she wants to know if you are alright. People that love you will always be concerned and care, but they don’t always use the words “are you alright”. I tend to keep everything inside and I don’t let people in. I get lost sometimes and I’m not sure why. I just know i am lost and I have to find my way back. I question my own existence almost every day and I find reasons. My mom who loves me or my brothers. Sometimes it’s just a single moment of beauty like a sunset or the way the moon looks. More often than not it’s music. Music has saved my life more times than I will ever admit to anyone. It reminds me that tomorrow is another day and has tons of possibilities. The possibility that I could find myself again or maybe meet someone that makes me laugh or smile. Something that makes me feel useful and that I have a place in this world. find ways to lift all the weight off yourself. Mine is music, but there are lots of other ways. Tomorrow will be a new day, as cliche as that is. Tomorrow will bring with it a whole new host of ideas and thoughts. Musings and wanderings, people and hope. Just gotta keep your head up and remember how strong you are. Nothing can beat you down because you are fucking strong. Kevlar and steel. you will be able to speak a proper sentence again. people don’t sob forever, I promise you. I know this for a fact. Bad times never last and when they end, it makes the happy times better by a hundred fold. And remember that it’s okay if someone doesn’t ask if you are alright. You can always tell them you are or you aren’t, even without them asking. hope you can smile tomorrow. For yourself if not for anyone else.

  2. I don’t know if you still want or need further advice after James’ wonderful comment, but I just wanted to tell you that I think he is right about your mom. Some people, especially those who know true sadness, tend not to ask this question, probably because they know that it is not the way out. I used to be badly depressed for over two years when I was younger, and what finally got me back to leading a normal life was not talking about it (I spent ages outlining my feelings to friends and strangers alike, and it gave me some kind of bittersweet satisfaction, but not happiness), but talking and thinking about anything else! There is a life afterwards. You seem to be at the bottom and this is kind of a good thing, because now time can only lift you up again. Spend time with your mom – she cares for you and is just trying her best to make you feel better. Trust me, I am a young mom myself. 😉

  3. Hey there 🙂 I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so down. I wish I had some great, meaningful words or advice to give you, but I don’t… but I think what James said was incredibly inspirational.

    What I can say is this: Life took me past my breaking point. I’ve been weary, tired, depressed, ripping at the seams. When I closed my eyes at night, I hoped they’d never open again. I thought I couldn’t make it through another day. When all hope seemed lost and I was crushed under the pressure, something beautiful happened. I realized I was strong. I am smart. My life is under my control. If I don’t like it, I actually had the power in me all along to change it – for the better. I stopped looking back. Honestly, I feel like my true self grew from the ashes of my shattered self. Every new day is filled with choices, love, and hope.

    I hope sharing my experience gives you some comfort.

  4. James is right on or as my mother use to say “this too shall pass ” or as Scarlet O’Hara in Gone with the Wind says “After all…tomorrow is another day” i try to remember this when i feel down..

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