snowy weather 017


What did you really seek for? What did you really seek for when you came into my life and promised happiness? I want you to answer that but you will never see this to actually answer it.

Do you want to know why I kept things going and why I held on to you for so long? I held on to you because you promised me something that nobody has ever promised me. You promised me happiness and that’s all I wanted. You promised me something and gave it to me. That’s the best part about this. You gave me that happiness, and do you want to know what you did with it after you gave me that happiness and had me rapped around your finger? You ripped it away harshly like a dagger in the heart.

Now this is not some sappy story of how love was ripped away from me or how you ruined my life forever. No, that’s not what this is.

You might never see this and that’s okay with me. But let me tell you what you did in depth and show you what you did to make me “clingy”

Before we started truly talking we were in a group chat and it was me and you and the other three. Now the other three were giving me a hard time about something and you stayed quiet. You stayed quiet and then out of nowhere you privately texted me and said that it would be okay and then you gave me two bible verses that I still use to this day for other people. You were so nice to me when the others were being rude. So we started facetiming and we started to have really great conversations and stories and just amazing times and we drew pictures for each other. Oh things were just going great and that’s when we started flirting and everything was amazing. Then months later everything went downhill like a forest fire. Your best friend got in the way. I never once tried to take her from you or try to replace her but she hated me when I was beyond nice to her. So she started to do everything she could to separate us. I’m very impressed with her because she did such a good job.  Now let’s just skip ahead a few months. Things were doing really good and that’s the point in time when we talked about the future. We talked about everything that we would do and it was awesome. But things just went downhill again soon after.

Actually instead of writing one big sappy story I will just right the good and bad things that I enjoyed and hated about you. Let’s start with the good.



You were beautiful. Gah, you had the most beautiful hazel eyes and you were perfect in my eyes. We wrote a book. Do you remember? It was about two cats that fell in love but the guy cat was shy and the girl cat was just waiting in that garden. We never finished that book. We stopped at the part when he forgot to charge his phone overnight. Let’s move on. We drew pictures for each other over facetime and I’m not a good drawer but you are the best drawer I have ever met and that was another great quality about you.  We both loved to read and we started reading the harry potter series even though we didn’t get very far because we both read it at different times. So we stopped that. Do you remember all the things we planned but never actually did? For instance, the 15 our facetime we planned and carving pumpkins on Halloween. I don’t know why we didn’t do those things. There were so many things I loved about you and there is not enough time in the day to write all of the things.



You listened to your best friend. She lied to you and talked behind your back and she wasn’t a good person but I still was nice to her because without her there would be no you. If I stopped talking to her then I would have to leave you also. I don’t know why that is but that’s how it was. Another thing was you told all of my personal information to her and that really hurt me. You told all of my secrets and stories that were for your ears and not hers. Why did you tell her all of my secrets? You also made me cut other people off and if I didn’t I would pretty much lose you. I couldn’t lose you but I did anyways. Another thing was something you told me when we stopped talking completely. You told me that I was too clingy. Now would you have rather me to not be clingy at all? Do you want me to tell you why I was clingy? I will tell you anyways and I have already mentioned it. I was clingy because you promised me happiness. That was something I had been seeking for a very long time. So when you told me that you could give it to me I chased after it. It wasn’t that I was trying to be too clingy but I was trying to get the thing that you told me that you would give to me.

One thing you must know is I will never shut you out if you ever need help and I want to come back in. The thing about me is if I ever love you then I will always care for you. I will never hate you. There is a part of me that wants you to see this but at the same time there is a part that doesn’t want you to see this. I’m never going to show you this but I can’t really stop you from finding this. I guess we will see in the future.

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