Last night J’s cousin messaged him to comment on how Deedee seems like such a “dark” kid and how her FB page is filled with posts about emo / goth bands and creepy pasta stuff. “What the heck happened to her?!?!”
Rash judgement of Deedee drives me up a wall. Yes, she likes to wear dark colors. Yes, she listens to emo music. Yes, she’s a horror movie buff. What happened? Nothing. She’s 14. If said cousin had paid any attention to Deedee while we lived closer he might have noticed she has Asperger’s Syndrome. She separates herself from her peers. When she takes up a hobby, she’s obsessive about it. She has ALWAYS been this way.
When she was 10, I took her and my other 2 babies to Disney World. Deedee tried to pack all of her stuff by herself. When I double checked her suitcase, I discovered that every article of clothing she packed was BLACK! I’ve tried to get her to wear a more colorful wardrobe and she clearly doesn’t want to. She’s 14. It’s a phase.
When she stopped listening to Katie Perry and Selena Gomez and pronounced her love for “My Chemical Romance”, I listened to her new favorite bands. My opinion: The lyrics are inspiring. I can see how an isolated teenager can relate to it. There’s really nothing demonic about it.
Her favorite movies are “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Coraline”, and “Corpse Bride”. Not to mention she likes an assortment of seemingly strange Japanese anime movies. Her favorite store at the mall is “Hot Topic”. *sigh*
At her school the other kids listen to rap. They like Wayne and Drake. They listen to songs that talk about getting drunk, gang violence, and sex. This type of music, to me, encourages violence, underage drinking, and serious skank activity. Some of her classmates drink, smoke, smoke pot. Most of them aren’t virgins. Deedee comes from a generation that is growing up too fast for ones so young. Deedee doesn’t drink. She doesn’t smoke. The closet thing to sex she’s experienced is that she kissed a boy ONCE. She chooses her friends wisely.
Honestly, if said cousin thinks she’s “too emo” than what would he prefer? She’s too old for barbies and my little pony. Would he feel better if she was posting selfies while scantily dressed, trying to attract the wrong kind of attention? Would he prefer a regressed 14 year old posting pictures of kittens and unicorns? For crying out loud, she’s growing up. She’s rearranging her looks, she’s discovering her identity.
I also feel the need to mention who is said cousin to judge her? He’s not a dad. Supposedly he has a kid, who he has never met nor supported for a single second in the child’s life. Said cousin is a bar scene alcoholic who picks up the “easiest” or drunkest girls and takes them home for a one nighter. He’s never been a role model to any child in his extended family. He should worry about himself instead of a 14 year old autism spectrum girl who is very passionate about her hobbies.
If you ask me, Deedee is a rare gem. She reads H.P. Lovecraft and manga. She likes going to the library. She’s insistent that she needs to be in ALL honors classes next year when she goes to high school. She’s adamant about going to college. I never have to tell her to do her homework. I rarely ever have to correct her. She listens to her teachers, her dad, and me. She’s never had a detention. She’s such a GREAT kid it’s to the point where she’s earned the right to wear what she wants (band tee shirts and black skinny jeans). She’s earned the right to listen to what she wants. I can’t force her to be some one she’s not just because she’s a “dark” kid.
And if she appears a little dark and stormy, so what? She’s been betrayed by adults that she trusted. Said cousin use to encourage her dad to drink and be more involved in his metal band than his kids (not that case anymore – her father’s 1st priority is his offspring). Funny how he doesn’t see how his own hand set this course for her. Deedee hadn’t had the most stable, supportive, peachy upbringing despite how deeply loved she is.
My point is, she’s amazing. If said cousin actually bothered to TALK to her before he judged her by her FB shares, maybe he’d realize that her darkness is an excuse to push her peers away due to her crippling social anxiety and that underneath the music and clothes, Deedee has a loving, beautiful soul.