the coffee.. the woman.. the test ..

Tonight , was an interesting night.

  I went for a coffee after my nightly meeting; something I do a few times a week. Tonight however was a lil different. I bumped into a more than extremely beautiful woman; Drop dead gorgeous type. We had quick banter at the counter, nothing really to make of it. 

  So I sat down to check my phone. I hear a voice so I look up, and it was her again. She asked me some random questions chit-chat; (I obviously knew she was flirting). I just entertained her before she went on her way. So she asks me if she can sit down and I was a lil “on edge” wasn’t expecting that. I must have taken too long because she slowly sat down anyway.

   So we sat there and talked for a while. We had pretty good conversation; Laughed and joked. Had some common interests. Time flew by. She asked if I wanted to grab another coffee but I said “how bout another time” because I just wanted to go.

   So we both head outside , we talked a lil more. She expresses how much of a good time she had, a lot in common, etc. She asked if I wanted to grab a quick drink. I didn’t even hesitate when I said sry I don’t drink-been sober for 9 weeks. I didn’t care if she thought I was stupid for that, or if she thought I was dumb for not “realizing” she was asking me out basically. The sobriety is important to me for multiple reasons. However, I was surprised when she responded with nothing but respect and that it didn’t bother her and found it admirable.

   So she asks for my phone number and about wanting to meet up again. She was all around pretty cool. She wasn’t trashy or anything either. But the whole time, from the second she sat down, in the back of my head I could only think of my wife. So I gently declined and explained to her that I wasn’t ready. How I love my wife, and that I couldn’t do that to her. Whether she hates me or loves me, I still love her, and that’s not fair to her. We’ve all been through too much already and nobody needs any more pain or hurt feelings.

  She was very understanding. I could see she was a lil disappointed so I just used my quick humor to diffuse the situation. We both laughed it off. I walked her to her car and shut her door for her and wished her well.

I know in my heart I did the right thing. From the moment we became exclusive, all the way until today I have been faithful. I take pride in that. I can’t just throw it away now. Why would I ever throw that away? To make my life complicated? She was all I had, and ever wanted.

So I might not be stopping for a coffee for a while I’ve decided. Haha.



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