Tuesday 26 January 2016

Well today still isn’t better! Like always I am faking a smile and pretending to be something I’m not! I’m fed up and really can’t carry on like this anymore! When I walk home from college, all I can think about is how easy it would be for me to just go somewhere that not a lot of people go and just end my life there and then. No one would know and it would be over, no one will know, no one else will hurt anymore and I wouldn’t feel like this anymore. I seriously can’t cope anymore. But there is no one for me to talk to about it. About how I feel, about the voices, about anything! I want to know what the voices want! They help me, but not all the time. They stop me from sleeping and they tell me that no one will care, I know this is true but they say it all the time! Every second of everyday. They tell me to cut and when I do they stop until the next day! Then it all starts again. What can I do? I need to end my life and I need to do it soon before I end up hurting someone close/around me. The longer I’m alive, the people I hurt and the more I hurt them. Cutting makes me feel numb! It makes me forget! I can’t stop bleeding! I’m numb! With blood dripping down my arm!

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