Welcome to my nightmare.

So today is the first day I am fighting my opiate withdrawls without the help of meth to keep my mind occupied. Its by far the worst day so far, I am dreading the thought of not sleeping, I feel so drained but I am completely restless at the same time. I slept for probally 8 hours yesterday, crashing around 12 cause i was up for 3 straight days, waking up around 4am til 8am tossing and turning then thankfully falling back alseep til about noon.

Im sitting here dreading the next couple days, if I can manage a way to score like 30$ i will be able to get a bit more meth to fade away these withdrawls. I hope I can make it and not just go through all of this for nothing cause this is truly a nightmare that I wouldnt wish upon anyone else.

The mental anguish of just constantly thinking about how bad I want to do a shot and I cant. For now Im going to try to occupy my mind with music and watch netflix but that doesnt really draw my attention span away from what im going through as much as i need it to.

2 thoughts on “Welcome to my nightmare.”

  1. The first few days are the hardest. Physical withdrawal sucks and you feel like you are literally dieing… it’s the mental withdrawal that’s the real challenge. My advice would be to stay physically busy as possible. (There’s kind of a small truth to idle hands being the devil’s playground). Some ideas to staying busy are: draw / sketch, write, clean your house, work out, go for a walk, create something..I must have drawn hundreds of sketches of the grim reaper during my detox days.

    It’s so awesome what you are doing and the fact that you are trying so hard shows that mentally you are ready for this. Keep fighting because this is literally a fight for your life.

    I can tell you that it does get better. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I am finally happy now although ironically I used drugs to feel good in the first place. I have money in my pocket AND in my bank account. Such a small thing and yet, at one point it was impossible. I had a “wish list” for all the things I needed / wanted. I was never able to accomplish any of it when drugs were in my life. Now I’m clean and I can check stuff off.

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