He is there. I don’t want him to be there anymore. I know that it has been 3 months on the break up… but this morning I woke up to find a text from him. I read it. He is asking about how I am, and seems to be concerned about a picture I have posted. Something about me wishing I never existed. Not because of him… I have other important issues.
3 months ago, he pushed me away. Made me say those awful words… “Its over”. I didn’t want it to be… we lasted for 4 amazing years, and the last 3 were long distant. He simply pushed me… made me hate him. I cried every night the 1st month, now I go to sleep worrying about if I will have time to draw a new portrait tomorrow. He is no longer on my mind.
I am not happy, but that is because I don’t have a job. My friends around me are moving so fast with their lives. Relationships, marriages, jobs, and other interesting matters… I am the only one who is still stuck. I make myself busy during the day by working out, watching movies, reading a lot, and drawing/painting. I go out with friends as well a couple of times a week… whenever we are all free to meet, that is. Maybe I am not happy, but simply ok with my current state.
Its not the 1st time he tries to speak to me. Hes been trying to get back to me by apologizing and giving me promises to treat me better next time. There will be no next time. I have a heart made of stone for him… and its mine to keep. I made that very clear to him and the whole world… so why is he still there?