3~31~205 Tuesday (im writting previous diary entries)

Dear Diary 3~31~2015, My Step mom took me shopping it was cool we went to Ross dress for less and TJ Max she is so sweet, she even got me a easter dress, and a beauiful diary(sorry i wanted to upload a picture of my diary but idk). Over spring break i went to Animal Kingdom and Epcot with K on Saturday. We were going to go Friday, but I lied saying I was sick with a terrible headache. But the truth is I didnt want to make close friends because I just think of the end and not the beginning of a friendship. In the past I have pushed any kind of relationship away but now I want to reverse my sudden instincts. But knowing I can’t ever be truely open without feeling safe I cover myself with a fake identity which is an extremly out going girly girl that is happy 247. And I moved 2yr ago and know one is catching on yet not even my family, and with that I can keep any friendship intact without the fear of the end. This is my first year of High School, I get up at 3am just to curl my hair, just to wear a skirt, just to wear heels, just to wear makeup, and just to wear my fake identity. And every morning I look myself stright in the mirror thinking cheers to having happiness somewhere. Maybe know one catches on to my fakeness because Im short person that looks “cute” like everyone says, or Im a great actress, or because people want to believe someone can have so much happiness all time so they can know if its truely possible to be happy. When I went to Disney K gave me a bff necklace, but if she knew the real me I and K would never be friends to start with. I will always be friends with the friends I have, but if they knew real me they wouldnt me friends with me. Also I and my bio mom went after school to make up work before the report card grades get submited since I have a D in Mrs.B’s reading class and i got it up to a 76C. And finally my bio mom is having hip surgery april 07 2015.

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