Diary Entry Of 4~03~2015 Friday

Dear Diary 4~03~2015,Im scaried to grow up, I have been thinking about that lately…Im scaried of what my path will be. I have been in the ER a lot, 1) after having the flu shot a day later I started puking, cramping, having diarrhea. And I went to ER for a few days to found I become lacatose intolerant and the weird thing is I never had a problem with it, until the flu shot 2) a docter gave me a sulfer pill and i had a reaction to it also I had mono (that same docter gave me a shot wrong and it collapsed my muscle in my arm, there was a huge dent in my arm, if you touch my arm you could feel my bone it was so deep. She also did that to a baby before. My arm healed in a year.), 3) the stupid docter gave me to same sulfer pill i was allergic to and I went to the ER, and the fourth time i went to the ER was when I had surgery because the stupid docters thought my appendix was going to burst. I actually had ammonia. The docters took out my appendix for money, by taking it out it lowered my defence against sickness so i often get sick more. Oh did i mention my bio mom had a xray of her leg when she thought my appendix was going to burst, oh and then when was in the ER my bio mom just was complaining about her leg the whole time! She didnt ask are you ok considering you just had surgery.Oh and get this then the docters asked my bio mom if they should take out my appendix and she said yes! The docter were suppose ask my dad since he is the main parent but he was in the restroom at the time. Unlike my bio mom my step mom is there for me she pushes through and she has lupus and she is in so much pain everyday. In ER I never took any pain pills not even ibuprofen after surgery, only when my parents forced me to when I was in a lot of pain. The truth is i didnt want to i was scaried I was going to be like my bio mom which is an addict. Oh and I still have a cough and its been about 2yrs, meaning i cant even sing if wanted to and I miss it soo much, if i sing its a struggle to sing high notes. My bio mom has put us in danger many times because of her pain pills. I probably even saved her life when i was just seven years old because the day I and my two brothers were home alone with her, i went in her room calling her and she didnt wake up cuz her eyes were in her head. I called granny on the phone which lives a minute after since she lives in the neighborhood, and she came over to watch us. Then she called my dad with panic in her voice. Dad said he is calling 911 granny said NO! cuz she always covers up for my moms mistakes. But dad called 911 anyways and the er people came. I dont want to grow up because so much of my childhood was taken away from me. Even after that happened where she od she made me think i was crazy like she always does, then i start to question myself. Im currently angery with my mom right now because she lies about me to her boyfriends, one of her bfs D asked why i and mom went after school that day (my answer is in my diary dated 3/31). She answered by texting “A guy touched my daughters boob so she stabbed him in the nuts with a pencil” which was a huge lie, what the heck! Also because her other bf broke up with her and blocked her number (um… i wonder why lol) so she texts him saying “What did u do to my mom” acting like her I went on her phone and txed him. And she did all that cuz she wanted him to text her pathetic right? Today at school the bus was late and a guy pulled my ponytail, so when one of the guys from the group of guys got on the bus I grabbed his backpack almost to the point he fell and i asked who pulled my hair and he pointed to the guy and i just shot the guy a glare who pulled my hair and the guy said what. I really liked him though (i think in the beginning of the year he liked me to idk for sure) and thats why i must break it off from the start. Cuz I dont want know one to get wrapped out in my messed up life for their protection and mine cuz if i had relationship with anyone we would just¬†get hurt in the end. Also I cant deal with anymore pain because i have enough of it already. After the bus my dad picked me up with c my dog, Im so proud of my dad i love when people see me with my dad ( a little childish for a high schooler ik but i love my step mom and dad, they work so hard for us). Im so proud of c my dog to he is so protective. Also i got the highest score out of the whole school on achieve i got a 99% of 29/30.

5 thoughts on “Diary Entry Of 4~03~2015 Friday”

  1. You seem to have many difficulties to deal with and I’m sorry for that. Everyone should get to have a good childhood and not have to grow up so quickly & take responsibility. Never the less you seem to be doing the very best you can and there are some good things in your life too. I think that once it is time to stand on your own two feet, you will do just fine.

  2. Hey Hun. You’ve gone through so much and I’m sorry you had to go through so much to the point where you felt the need to grow up because of others actions. I know I’m not the person to be telling you this but you are so strong and I know you can get through so many things.

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