I had a phenomenal day yesterday. Like over the top great. It made me think of a lot of things. It wasn’t one of those “new me, new year, blah blah” bullshit.
I owe nothing anymore to anyone. I surely have proven myself; to myself, and every single person who doubted me. And the things I may owe, or make up to, it’s out of my hands, others are the ones to choose to be an adult and let me show it or not. I have gone above and beyond anyone’s expectations to change my life and will continue to do so.
In two months I have conquered 2 jobs, license, being sober, daily meetings, a bi-weekly meeting/program, etc . No matter what I do, some people are gonna try and find a reason to doubt. Something won’t be good enough. Always an excuse, or some nit picky thing. Maybe it’s not me who has to change anymore? If I’m missing something, tell me what I have to do, say it, give an opportunity or something. I’m not a freakin mind reader. I’m not responsible for what others want to create in their minds. And that’s fine.
Some aren’t meant for long term relationships. The “for better/worse, sickness and health, til death” are just words to them. It goes beyond anything in this world the minute you commit. It takes effort. Being a grown up. Never turning your back or creating reasons for resentment. I should have walked away 100s of times in past relationships, but I stood by them. Find the good that outweighs the bad. Actually motivate emotionally, mentally for them. Some just can’t handle themselves and blame others for their own thoughts.
I’m too old for all of the drama and attention craving. I’m not living my life with a mentality of a 21yr old. That includes relationships, people, jobs , life in general and stupid fuckin nonsense . I’m genuine, I’m honest, I have way too much to offer. I have learned to love myself again. Something that was missing for a long time.
There are many temptations out there of “smoking hot chicks” who are actually really good people that are chasing me down because they know all of the great qualities I have to offer. .. And I still don’t bite. It’s not what I want. I’m gonna keep succeeding and pushing myself. I’m not out seeking anything or anyone whether people want to believe it or not. I never have.
Whatever happens , happens. I’m not gonna be controlled anymore. I’m an emotional guy who’s passionate about what I care for. I’m not gonna let it be used against me anymore. I’m tired of chasing things. I shouldn’t have to. So I’m not going to. I am a special breed of awesome and faithfulness. Women kill for someone like me. Someone (in time) will appreciate my worth and value.
“There’s nothing more I can do” is basically where I’m at. I can’t change things in the past , but it showed me who I am not, and I learned from it. That’s why I’m dominating life daily right now. I’m done with being held back because my emotions get the best of me. I’m Focused and driven and I won’t stop. There are too many opportunities in life right now for me.
I’m clear minded, Im doing everything opposite I use to do and getting out of my comfort zone; being sober has allowed me to do all of these things. I want to travel, explore. I have booked my first trip for in a few weeks. I have two tickets, And I have one available for someone else; it’s meant for only one person but it is what it is.
I will be happy, I will turn the “numb” button on, and just let things be. If someone wants to join me on my quest for complete happiness, they know where to find me. But if I’m gone by the time they are ready then thats their loss. It could be a year, a month, or even a day, and something might come along to change my thoughts on things. Opportunities fade away real quick. Ya never know.
Daily reminders on FB , especially this time the last few years are tough. Yeah I’m not happy about current situations, and yes it bothers me, but I can’t do anything about it. Tired of dwelling on it.
Im here. Right now… Again, Opportunities fade away real quick. Maybe certain circumstances in my life will change, or not, but I will guarantee it would be worth it. But In the meantime I’m not wasting any time. I will focus on staying positive, smiling and making people happy. Busting my ass at work, and taking care of my son. Inspiring others at my meetings and in life daily.
The BEST me is here, for a very long time. Accept it, or stay out of my way.
“You live, you learn, you upgrade”
“sometimes, the truth hurts. Don’t expect to get a pat on the back all the time in life”