Stories should start at the beginning….right?

In doing so I would bring attention to myself from others in my life, ones I don’t trust to share with personally so there will be no straight lines. My apologies for the circles and dabs of paint that may never complete a full picture. As for general information this is what I shall share with you.

I’m an Aries, old school before they messed up and rearranged the zodiac to whatever it is now. According to a far east, very detailed, signs and elements book I read a number of years ago I fall on the lines between 3 days surrounding the Spring Solstice, that I bring both fire and water to my world by being on such a cusp. And that for all those who follow Chinese New Year I am a Tiger.

When I was a lot of ages younger my mom would tell me about the strange things surrounding my very first days breathing on my own in the loverly world.

The first being that I had 2 different colored eyes when I was born, one blue, one green and that the nurses, my dad and she got to watch them change over the following hours alternating between the two colors before finally settling on blue. A color that no longer sticks as my eye color changes with my environment.

The second being she swears up and down that my dads dead mother’s spirit came in and checked in on me. She saw a lady behind her in a reflection standing near me but when she turned around there was no one there. My mother never met my dad’s mom as she committed suicide when he was 4 years old, when my mom described the reflection to my dad he brought out the first picture she had ever seen of his mom and was so happy to say that it was her that she had seen.

And finally the third was that during the “visitation” time period during my first week home from the hospital that there were a pair of mourning doves that sat on the window for 3 days and 3 nights. According to my mom they never left until the third day at which point she never saw them again.

My mom when I was younger swore that these sings meant that I had great things in front of me and that I would bring about great change. That I was being looked after even from afar. …..Moms …..Young hopeful moms at that.

She was right in some ways I will give her that. Change comes to my world about every 6 to 8 weeks and I never can have a set schedule, but I don’t believe I bring change, least of all big change to this screwed up world. If anyone is looking after me from afar….I really wish they would pop up every now and again and show themselves so I wouldn’t feel alone and hopeless. As to my Mourning Doves……..I am always in a state of mourning, my memories that are so wondrous to me bring both sadness and joy. As I have been barred in my own home from bringing them up because the past apparently should stay in the past and “I have everything I need right in front of me” makes me mourn for them all the more.

But one day I will have the peace that I so desire, whether it is to strictly live by my memory, read my way through the Library of Congress (or Barnes and Noble) or finally get to go home to place where my heart so desires to be.

This was my moms words on my beginning……..from here no straight lines 😉

~Nikki Far 




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